I feel like tonight, my mind is made up.  I don't want to be pregnant.  But even in writing that out, I am aware of the tiny life inside me.  I hate this.  How do I make a choice between two options that likely have the same outcome?  How do I decide to terminate before she even gets a chance?  Or how do I choose to continue knowing that every day ( Read more... )

Monday morning.  The first of what could be many OB appointments.  Jen woke up feeling emotionally numb and physically ill.  She spent the early morning hours wandering around the house on autopilot.  Alex watched her every move, but she didn't notice.  They sat in bed together, drinking coffee slowly and silently.  Time has a way of moving forward ( Read more... )

Saturday night, after Alex has crashed on the floor in the living room, Jenny retreats upstairs.  She's worn out from the crying and the fighting and just generally being unable to keep her eyes open.  But she's so lost and desperate.  She crawls back into bed and digs her phone out of wherever it was hiding in the blankets.  She could call Heather ( Read more... )

Jen had done a good job of avoiding Alex for the rest of the day.  But now she was out of ginger tea and had been for a while.  Her stomach is doing rolls and she really wants to get a new mug of tea in the hopes of calming the nausea.  But that meant going downstairs and possibly running into her idiot husband.  She has even less desire to throw ( Read more... )

A new fanmix for the goings on in the All But One verse.  You know, attempted suicides and such.  Anyway, here's the album art.  Dunno if any of you have been to Megaupload.com recently, but there's a scary warning there now.  If anyone wants the tracks and knows how I can send them, let me know.


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Last week's session with Dr. Davis still has Jen turned inside out.  Tonight, after having too much to drink, she decided it would be a good idea to go for a walk around Washington.  Alex had insisted she take one of the 17-mile walkie talkies he bribed one of her detail agents to get.  He made her take her phone, too.  She doesn't have anywhere in ( Read more... )

[Borrowed greeneyedspy.  I will eventually give him back.]

No matter which ocean it is or what part of the world it's in, an empty beach and a vast ocean has a way of making someone feel so alone in the world.  Jen sits by herself in the dark, in the sand, watching the waves inch ever closer.  The tide has started coming in and the water threatens to lick her ( Read more... )

She doesn't bother with her car service.  She doesn't care that much.  Instead, it's a taxi and the only words spoken to the driver are Gibbs' address.  The driver jokes, asking her if she wouldn't rather go to a bar since she's clearly been "pregaming".  She never answers ( Read more... )

She feels like she's been bouncing around her townhouse forever.  It's really only been a handful of weeks, but Jenny is itching to get back to her office.  She's hearing horror stories about the idiot who is temporarily running things.  Just thinking about it makes her cringe.  But her doctor hasn't cleared her for work any more than the Feds have ( Read more... )

IC Meet and Greet meme!  My thread.